You Know You Want It – Homebrew and Home-Cookin’. (Giveaway)

I have this growler of homebrew. It contains a porter, brewed for me by a good friend about a year ago. I have one or two 12 oz bottles of the porter left too, but the growler is what I need to focus on right now.

You see, a growler is a lot of beer. Far more than one person ought to drink in one sitting. (Or, at least, far more than your blogger ought to drink in one sitting.) And once it’s opened, it needs to be consumed. By the next day, the beer will often be flat and/or oxidized.

And I really need to get to consuming it. You see, it turns out homebrewers are relatively possessive about things like their growlers. Especially their gorgeous, special-handled, flip-top growlers. They don’t mind loaning them to a non-brewing friend to hold some of their precious & well-crafted beers, but they get antsy and wanting them back at some point. Empty. It’d be an insult to send it back full. (If one is a non-brewer, like myself. I bet full of new homebrew would be perfectly acceptable.)

A year is an awfully long time to wait for the return of one’s property, wouldn’t you say?

SO! I have made an executive decision. I am conducting a Chicago-based giveaway. A giveaway of beer and food. I can’t imagine much that’s better. Especially since you won’t have to do the dishes at the end.

Specifically, I’m giving away the opportunity to come have dinner with me, my friend Matt and my husband Bill. You, Matt and I will drink at least this growler of beer. I have a bazillion bombers at home too, and I also don’t open bombers alone, so there’s an outside chance that additional interesting beer will be poured.

I’ll make dinner and dessert, with an eye toward whipping up a menu that will pair well with the homebrew. As in, I commit that a few days or weeks before dinner I’ll crack one of the 12 oz bottles, and plan a menu based on what I taste. I make no promises that I will succeed in making an awesome pairing, but I promise I shall try.

This event will be scheduled around everyone’s availability, but must occur before 7 Feb 2013. Porters are (typically) winter beers and I need to get this growler back to my buddy soon-ish. Thus, almost two months seems reasonable.

The giveaway opens now, and closes at noon CST on 7 Dec 2012. To enter, simply leave a comment telling me why you’d like to come over to have beer and dinner with me (or Bill or Matt). Only one comment per person will be eligible.

First and foremost: To be eligible for this, you MUST be of legal drinking age in the USA. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Yes, if I feel the need to, I will card you. Yes, if I don’t believe your ID, I will invite you in for dinner, but no alcohol will be consumed. This applies even if I’m wrong about your ID and you’re a very young-looking 40 year old. If you get offended at being carded and/or denied booze, you should not enter this giveaway, because if you get offended at me in the moment, I will call off dinner and not let you into my home.

Okay. Now that the bummer of stuff is out of the way, let’s get to other important details. To be eligible for this giveaway, you must be able to get to my house. I’ve got dinner, dessert and the beer, but transportation is all on the winner. Thus, I suggest only folks who live in Chicago (or can get here easily) entering, but if you visit often or know you’re coming during those two months, feel free.

This giveaway is also not open to anyone who has dined and imbibed at my house previously, or could reasonably expect to get an invitation to do so. I love all you guys very dearly, but you already know you basically have a standing invitation. Leave this to someone new. So, as an example, Rob or Angelique are not eligible for this giveaway, but Mindy or Anne (Twitter-only, so far, friends) should get in with all haste, if interested.

Some questions I expect you might have:

How will you pick the winner?

I will throw out any comments that strike me or Bill as creepy, distasteful, racist, sexist, or in any way indicate “clearly going to irritate the shit out of Bill or I.” After that, any remaining will be subject to random selection, most likely by

I know you barely know Matt; why doesn’t he have to enter the giveaway?

Matt is the only person who has expressed any interest in the past in cracking this thing with me. Thus, he gets automatic entrée to the dinner.

Can I bring my friend(s) or significant other(s)?

One is negotiable. Two or more is a definitive “no”. I live in a small space, and no one wants to eat off their knees. However, I understand you may want a companion when heading to the home of a stranger or near-stranger. So, if you win, let’s discuss.

Why not just drink as much of the growler as you can with Matt and pour out the rest?

Because my friend’s hard work deserves more respect than that.

Isn’t sharing with near or total strangers a bit disrespectful to said hard work?

No. Homebrewers are all about sharing with others. The enthusiasm for sharing is occasionally overwhelming. In fact, I suspect she’d be in favor of this plan, and ask me to ask you to take notes on your impressions of the beer to give to her.

Can I bring my homebrew to share with you guys?

Sure! Just make sure to bring a reasonable portion for three people. Actually reasonable, not 2 growlers of your brew. Yes, a 12 oz bottle is acceptable if you just want us to have some tasting notes.

Do I really have to be of age?

Hell. Yes. You knew that.

Do you have enough readers for this to be a reasonable contest? Especially given the folks you disqualified from the get-go?

It seems we’re going to find out, doesn’t it?

What happens if you only get one entry?

That person has a pretty good shot then, I’d say.

What happens if you get no (eligible or acceptable) entries?

I’ll call up my friend Nicky, who both loves porters and knows Matt completely independently of me, and tell her to come over and have some beer with us. I will then make her, Bill and Matt swear to no more than 30 minutes of computer geekery, or they’re stuck doing dishes.

So why don’t you just call Nicky? It seems like that would be easier.

One, because that’s far less interesting and random than this. Two, because, well, did you read the answer above? Chances are high they’re going to go full on computer-geek mode, and I’m going to have to console myself trying to learn to juggle bread knives or something.

So, should I enter?

YES. Get on that!

23 thoughts on “You Know You Want It – Homebrew and Home-Cookin’. (Giveaway)

    • Hooray!Welcome, Melissa! Matt does love the beef tongues, from what I hear. But, no. I’m providing the food if you win. We’ll have to discuss your beef tongues some other time. 😀

  1. I like that I, specifically, am called out as not eligible for this. 😛

    I promoted the giveaway on Twitter anyway, dammit.

    • I don’t know. I’m glad you know now. However, you don’t get to enter. Know why? Because you could call me tonight, ask to come by for dinner and I’d say, “We’re booked tonight. But how about Thursday?” 😀 This is for folks who can’t yet do that.

  2. Thanks for not letting Erin enter so that she would tell me about it!!! Also, we haven’t posted on our blog for 6+ months, but I included the link so you’d know we’re not creepy

    • Hi Natalie! Thanks for stopping by & entering! Your blog is lovely & you have good references, so I suppose I shall accept your claims of “not creepy”. 😉

    • Thank you, Deb! I truly appreciate it. Also? Just for you, specifically, go over here & read under “Coffee”. You might find something you’ve been saying entered my brain! (Though not quite in the way you say it…)

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